Hospital, Day -4

Well, I officially don't think I'll make it here 21 days without going insane.

I've named my metal chemo stand "The Beast" - it's where all of the assorted chemo/saline/other drugs hang for the duration of my treatment. I've been attached to it (by my Hickman Catheter) for the past three days, and it will be my constant companion for at least two more. I take it everywhere I need to go, which in my case, is just between my bed and the bathroom, since they don't let me go anywhere else. Hopefully next week I'll get to leave my room. By this point I'm getting sick of the imprisonment this disease has caused, whether it be at home or here.

I am on my 5th of 8 chemo cycles (twice a day for four days + 1 day of fluids) of Etopiside, Cytoxin and Gonnakickmyassimide. If I hadn't written it before, I get it at noon and midnight over the four days. I get to sleep about 3 straight hours, from 4 am - 7 am. I get cat naps when I can, but I don't like to sleep much during the day, as I have one of the only views the hospital has to offer, of two trees on Binney Street. That and during the day the attending doctors make their rounds, and I get visits from all sorts of folks. Naps aren't much of an option when the sun is up.

Anyway, I think my lunch is here, and I'm hungry. I'm getting used to this room service deal they have here. Sorry Ti.