Happy Birthday to me

It's my 6 month birthday. Not as important as 1 year, but that's another 6 months away.

Yay. I made it 6 months.

Oink?

Is the swine flu epidemic directly related to my bacon obsession? Are the pigs taking revenge on us for eating their delicious variety of meats? Will I have to wear a mask for the next month?
I dunno. But these are the things that go through my mind as I watch the news.

I'll probably be wearing a mask when we go to Las Vegas next month. I may even wear one at the wedding. Probably not though. It'll make for bad pictures.

I'm a little worried. But what can I do other than be more careful out in public.

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood

Today is a beautiful day in Boston. The weather is nice, the sky is blue, there aren't any clouds in the sky. I wish my health reflected outside. I am exhausted. I'm overwhelmed. I'm lots of things that I don't want to be right now, with 3 weeks until the wedding and 3 weeks and 2 days until Vegas.
I got my hair cut down pretty short. It's a temporary move, I think, as I may end up shaving it all off before the wedding. I'm still thinking about it.
As I complained to Hilary at Baldie's Blog (thanks for the mention btw), and she agreed with my desire to shave it. It's not the same as it was pre-cancer, which I expected, but I wasn't prepared for how different it would be. So we'll shave it and see how it grows back. I think.

Tonight is one of those nights that reminds me of my college days. One of those warm April nights where it's slightly chilly but still comfortable. I wish I had a deck or knew someone who lived nearby that did. I'd sit outside with my feet up, with a nice cold beer and watch the sun set and the stars start to come out. This is the great time of year between when it's a little too cold outside to when it's a little too warm (and moist) outside. Too bad it is short and usually rainy.

I'm going to get a beer from the fridge now. Even though I don't have a deck, we have the windows open, the Sox-Yankees game on TV, and it just feels right.

I hurt myself today

Because I've decided to start being active. I've been going to the gym a few times a week, we've also been taking dance classes that have me moving around quite a bit for a short amount of time. Overall, I think my stamina is improving a little, tiny, imperceptible bit each day. My weight has been bouncing between 183 - 186, depending upon the day and how much I eat. I'm trying not to get back into the habit of eating too much for lunch and still having a sizable dinner. And I'm attempting (poorly at this point) to eat healthier. I don't really want to say what steps I've taken in that direction. You probably don't really care all that much anyway. I really don't care all that much either.
Moving on. I'm still pretty damn tired when I get up. Granted, I haven't been going to bed until midnight or later, but I can't get up in the morning, and I'm dragging around all day. While my stamina may be improving, my energy level has not. Unless, it too is improving in tiny amounts each day - like Mega Man's energy bar.

Anyway, enough for now. Time to eat dinner.

Wondering what tomorrow brings. . .

Forgive my last post. I don't know what I was thinking. First, complaining about being tired then going directly to discussing Vegas. I'll work on my blogging and try not to whine so much.

Ti and I are taking dance lessons, so we won't suck during our first dance. We have a long way to go, but I think we've come a long way in the two weeks since we've started. Now we're not fighting for the lead, and she's starting to pick up on cues to move where I'm leading us to. Fortunately for us, it's a song that's 2:30 in length, so even if we don't perfect it before the wedding, we can wing it and still probably look good. Probably not Dancing with the Stars professional, but decent for two folks who just learned the dance 6 weeks prior to the wedding.

I'm a bit excited tonight - BU won its game and will play Saturday night for the NCAA Men's Division 1 hockey championship. First time in over a decade they've even been close, and this year, they're the strong favorite. Good luck to Miami of Ohio, but I think they should just get ready for a tough game that they really have no chance of winning - otherwise known as assuming the position. Think Chicago Bears vs. the Indianapolis Colts type game. They might hang in there for a period or two, but by the third it won't be a game anymore. It'll just be the clock ticking down until the inevitable occurs. I'm expecting a 6 - 2, 6- 3 type of game.

Healthwise, still pretty much the same as I've been over the past few weeks. Slow recovery, but I'm losing a little weight. This time it is intentional, and I hope my doctors don't get too worried during my appointment at the end of the month. My energy is pretty low, with bursts occasionally, from caffeine and other stimulus. I was bouncing around the bedroom while I was watching the hockey game earlier. Now I should be sleeping, but for some reason, I haven't gone to bed yet.

I think it's time now.

Good night, sweet dreams and let's wish for a good sports weekend for Boston.

Bah

It is what it is. And I need to sleep.

Work is tiring, sleep is tiring, everything is tiring. Even blogging.

So to conclude, Brian = tired. Very tired. All the time.

I know, so interesting. Such is my life, except for the wedding stuff and Vegas, both are weeks and weeks away - just under 6 to be exact. Six long weeks from now, I will be drinking and gambling and relaxing in neon-lighted glory, three days after marrying the love of my life. But 10 hours from having to get up to go on a Hoover Dam tour. Unfortunately, I know they don't allow people to bring alcoholic drinks on the bus. So I must get up early to get my fix in before the three-plus-hour tour.

Goodnight Moon. Maybe tonight you're full?

Just another Monday

Life has started returning to "normal" - well, pre-cancer normal. I am not sure what everyone else is expecting when they see me. I'm a little thinner, have a little less hair, but otherwise I'm the same. I'm still not back to how I was back in August of 07, before all of this really started, and I have no idea how long it'll take (or even if I'll get back there). I'm exhausted most of the time, but try to ignore it so I can get through the average day.
I've been drinking coffee regularly, as the caffeine gives me a bit of energy (still tired, but oddly wired), but only 1 cup a day usually. Maybe once a week I'll have two during a day. I can still go to bed and sleep after a cup, it just gives me energy for a bit during the day.
I've been on a little bit of a bacon kick lately. It's driving Ti a little crazy, but it'll pass. I found a web site that sells bacon salt and baconaise (Bacon + mayo = yum). The quote they have on their site is "Everything should taste like Bacon". I tend to agree.

I've been going to the gym, which has been good, as it's getting me moving again. It's frustrating, as I'm very self-aware about the weights I'm using and how little weight I am able to work out with comfortably. 20-30 lbs max on most machines right now, and since I'm not doing regular weight training now (this week it's 45 mins on cardio and about 5 mins on weight machines - I'm trying not to overdo it) I probably won't be going up too soon.

Anyway, time to make the bacon cinnamon rolls.